I was on the bus on the way home earlier when I suddenly thought of you, blog. I wondered how you were doing. I wondered if you were still here. I wondered if you missed me, if you were wondering where I was.
Well, I’ll tell you.
I was everywhere, blog. I was high in the heaven and deep in the depths of hell. I was exploring oceans, mapping out new lands. I was living life the way it was meant to be lived, confusing, confounding, contemplating the meaning of it all. I was trying to find myself, by moving across countries back to where I felt I belonged, realizing I don’t quite belong here after all. I was reconnecting with old friends, realizing they weren’t who I thought they were and I wasn’t who they thought I was and that sometimes not trying at all is much better than giving it everything and failing. I was discovering new things about myself, new capabilities, new strength, a whole reservoir of can do-ness that I never thought I possessed. I was discovering new loves and letting go of old ones, while realizing that old or new, they’re not that much different after all.
What I’m trying to say, blog, is this.
I’ve moved! I’ve moved from Malaysia back to Singapore, where I spent my formative years of high school and pre-u. I moved back for a job, then changed to another job, and now another job that literally fell into my lap (that story another time!) and that I’m growing increasingly unsure about except for the fact that it’s relatively stress-free and pays well. I’ve traveled, seeing new places and meeting new people and realizing that there’s really no place as good as home. I’ve lost old friends through stupidity and staying honest to myself, reconnected with old friends due to circumstance and knowing myself, made new friends through new hobbies. Gained new hobbies, well, new hobby – pole dancing. Yes, I pole dance now! Have been for eight months and counting (that story, too, will be told another time).
So blog, don’t worry about me. Even though I may disappear for big swatches of time, I’ll eventually remember you and come back.
I’ll try to blog more often, because I realize all the writing I do now is either for work or for fandom (yet another story for yet another time), and seldom do I write for myself. My diary, which I’d dutifully filled since moving here, has not been touched (literally!) for months. If I recall correctly, since January.
I’ll promise you I’ll try, blog. Until next time.