Category Archives: Daily Rambling

Reboot

I was on the bus on the way home earlier when I suddenly thought of you, blog. I wondered how you were doing. I wondered if you were still here. I wondered if you missed me, if you were wondering where I was.

Well, I’ll tell you.

I was everywhere, blog. I was high in the heaven and deep in the depths of hell. I was exploring oceans, mapping out new lands. I was living life the way it was meant to be lived, confusing, confounding, contemplating the meaning of it all. I was trying to find myself, by moving across countries back to where I felt I belonged, realizing I don’t quite belong here after all. I was reconnecting with old friends, realizing they weren’t who I thought they were and I wasn’t who they thought I was and that sometimes not trying at all is much better than giving it everything and failing. I was discovering new things about myself, new capabilities, new strength, a whole reservoir of can do-ness that I never thought I possessed. I was discovering new loves and letting go of old ones, while realizing that old or new, they’re not that much different after all.

What I’m trying to say, blog, is this.

I’ve moved! I’ve moved from Malaysia back to Singapore, where I spent my formative years of high school and pre-u. I moved back for a job, then changed to another job, and now another job that literally fell into my lap (that story another time!) and that I’m growing increasingly unsure about except for the fact that it’s relatively stress-free and pays well. I’ve traveled, seeing new places and meeting new people and realizing that there’s really no place as good as home. I’ve lost old friends through stupidity and staying honest to myself, reconnected with old friends due to circumstance and knowing myself, made new friends through new hobbies. Gained new hobbies, well, new hobby – pole dancing. Yes, I pole dance now! Have been for eight months and counting (that story, too, will be told another time).

So blog, don’t worry about me. Even though I may disappear for big swatches of time, I’ll eventually remember you and come back.

Really.

I’ll try to blog more often, because I realize all the writing I do now is either for work or for fandom (yet another story for yet another time), and seldom do I write for myself. My diary, which I’d dutifully filled since moving here, has not been touched (literally!) for months. If I recall correctly, since January.

I’ll promise you I’ll try, blog. Until next time.

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Up in April

All the reading I’ve been doing recently about the economic situation here in Malaysia, coupled with articles on the realities of the income of middle class Malaysians, the spate of retrenchment at my company, and the staggering electricity bills I’d gotten recently, I think it’s time to reevaluate my finances.

I used to think I got lucky in my pay – a point that has remained constant through all the full time jobs I’d held. I’ve always been paid above the market rate, and had gotten what I’d asked for. I think it’s forgiveable for me to have thought that, since I’m making better money, I’m privileged to spend more.

Wrong.

I’m beginning to learn that there’s no such thing as more disposable income. The more you earn, the more you’d want or think you can spend. But that’s not true. the amount of disposable income does not increase. The price of what you spend on does. If I earned 1000 bucks a month, I’d frequent eateries such as mamak stalls or hawker centers, and the occasional (non-pricey) restaurant. If I earned 5000 bucks, I’d naturally forgo the food trucks and head straight for Chilli’s all day, every day.

The more I earn, the more I’d spend on things that are more expensive as opposed to continuing to spend on cheaper stuff, of which I could buy more. Real life example: I’d stopped shopping at Berjaya Times Square now that I’m no longer a student living off an allowance. Instead, I’m buying more high street brands, and have been saving up for brands (which I promised myself I’d never succumb to. How things change.)

But I digress. It’s time to monitor my finances, and curb impulse spending. (Like on my pet hedgehog.) Having more money doesn’t mean I have to spend more of it. It just means I should be able to save more. Come April, it’s time to re-evaluate what’s worth spending on and what’s not (basically everything).

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3, 三, Three

It’s month three of my post-graduation vacation slash unemployment, and I’m getting increasingly restless. Continue reading

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